“Therefore consider carefully how you listen.  Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him.” –Luke 8:18 (NIV)

“One of the best ways to persuade anyone is with your ears—by listening to them.”  --Dean Rusk, Former U.S. Secretary of State

Much to the chagrin of many of the people at her conservative home church, Carol, a 25-year-old Bible college graduate, took a job as a server at a trendy nightclub.  A month later, she ran into the leader of her mother’s Bible study at the grocery store.  After greeting Carol, the older woman drew her close and with a look of deep concern said, “I’ve been praying for you ever since your mother told me where you’re working.  How are you doing?”

Carol smiled and answered truthfully, “I guess your prayers are being answered.  In the four weeks I’ve been working at the club, I’ve led three people into relationship with Jesus.  How are you doing?”

Carol’s success in reaching out at the club is worth a second look.  In one month she introduced more than three times the number of people to Christ than half the churches in North America do in a whole year.  Surprisingly, Carol explains her outreach efforts didn’t depend as much on the location of where she worked as they did on another frequently overlooked “L-word”—Listening.

What Carol discovered while working at the club is that many people who’d normally recoil at religious sounding words are more than ready to open up to someone—even a total stranger—who cares enough to genuinely listen.  Reaching out with Jesus’ love to the strangers in your community and listening to them go together like peanut butter and jelly.  They’re the perfect combination!  Those little acts of love and kindness may open a door to relationship, but effective listening allows you to step through that door.

Some people confuse the admonition in James 1:19 to be “quick to listen” with being passive about your faith.  But nothing could be further from the truth.  “Servant listening” is one of the most vigorous and proactive behaviors you can ever engage in.  This type of listening requires you to be much more conscious and alert in your day-to-day activities and conversations than most people.

Listen With Your Eyes

Part of letting God’s love flow from you to your community is becoming a people-watcher and a mood-noticer.  As you pass people on the street or see them sitting near you in a restaurant, take notice of the smiles or frowns on their faces.  Pay attention to the feelings they’re communicating through posture, body language, and facial expressions.  Such seemingly minor nuances speak volumes about what’s going on in people’s hearts.  No, you’re not being a busybody; you’re practicing the ministry of noticing.  Paying attention to strangers helps you begin looking outside of yourself and start genuinely caring about people.  And as you begin to notice people, soon you may find yourself talking to God about those people—praying that they might have a better day, or asking God to give them peace in the midst of what seems like a hectic schedule.  And sometimes you’ll even be moved to risk personally reaching out.

Here’s a story that a buddy of ours told us recently.  He and a couple of friends were eating lunch together at their local Cracker Barrel restaurant when they noticed the lady sitting next to them.

As we ate I noticed something sad about this woman’s eyes.  While my friends talked, I prayed a little silent prayer for her and immediately got the impression that maybe I was supposed to buy her lunch.  So I grabbed her bill off the table and said, “You look like you could use a little encouragement today.  Let me pay for your lunch.”

She smiled and said, “Thank you very much,” and went about finishing her meal as if nothing particularly interesting had happened.

As she rose to leave, she paused uneasily at our table and then said, “I really did need some encouragement today.”  Then she sat down with us and began crying.  She told us about her son who had recently died very tragically.  ‘I had good days and bad days,” she said, “And today was a really bad day—until you came along.”

We listened for a while longer as she told more of her story.  And eventually I asked if we could pray with her.  She took our hands and prayed with us right there in the Cracker Barrel.  More tears came, but instead of looking sad, now she was smiling thoughtfully.  At least, she looked up and said, “I knew there was something special about you guys when you first walked through the door.  Thank you again!”

Looking back on that day, I hope she sensed as we walked in the door was Jesus noticing her.  I’m realizing more and more what a holy thing it is to notice people—especially the ones who are the least noticeable.

Noticing and listening to the people in your community are extraordinarily powerful ways of showing God’s love.  Unfortunately, genuinely caring listeners always seem to be in short supply.

The truth is, there are opportunities to listen with your eyes and ears every place you go—even when you’re not in the mood.  Recently Dave [Ping] was stuck at O’Hare International Airport in Chicago for over eight hours as he tried to catch a two-hour flight a few days before the New Year.  An unofficial labor slowdown had snarled air traffic—and traveler’s moods all over the country.

After watching helplessly as two of my flights were cancelled, and the newest one postponed several times, I was in a terrible mood.  With the exception of lacking smoldering torches, my fellow passengers were beginning to look like irate villagers getting ready to storm the gates of Dr. Frankenstein’s castle.  OK, maybe I have a slightly overactive imagination, but if the loudspeaker announced one more delay or gate change, I was ready to find a torch and lead the abused masses in storming Gate E-29!

But then I sensed God’s still, small voice trying to break through my indignation with a thought totally opposite of the violent scene I was imagining in my head.  The voice said, “Dave, you can either be miserable like everyone else, or you can be my light in this darkness.  You’ve written books on kindness and listening . . . this would be a good time to practice what you preach.”

A smile spread across my face and my spirit immediately lifted.  I realized I wasn’t trapped in the airport at all (or a scary movie for that matter). I was in the perfect place to let Christ’s light shine.

So I closed my laptop and began looking around for someone to serve.  The people sitting near me looked bored, so I gathered up newspapers others had case aside, put them back together and walked around asking people if they’d like one.  Even people who’d already read the paper appreciated the offer and took my little gesture as an invitation to connect.  When they asked why I was handing out “recycled” papers, I said I thought God would rather have me doing something positive than sitting around feeling sorry for myself.  Though I got one or two puzzled looks, most people seemed to applaud my behavior.  Some even offered to let me distribute their used magazines and the paperbacks they’d finished.

I’m not particularly extroverted, but I have to admit I was really beginning to have fun being “God’s newspaper boy.”  Instead of a time of suffering, God transformed the hours I spent at the airport that day into some of the most enjoyable and fruitful times of connecting I’ve ever had.  Several of the people welcomed my offer of a newspaper or a book as an opportunity to talk to a friendly person.  I was amazed how many complete strangers wanted to talk and how open they were when they did.

One young man in particular was a backup musician for a well-known pop star.  As we talked he told me how much he missed the connection with God he’d known growing up in a close-knit, Christian family.  He confessed, “When my career went on the front burner, there just wasn’t any room for Jesus . . . but talking to you, makes me remember what I’m missing.”  Then he asked if I knew of any good churches in the city where he lived when he wasn’t on tour.  I mentioned a couple of possibilities and gave him my e-mail address so he could tell me how it went.  We were having such a good conversation that I found myself extremely disappointed when my flight was finally called and I had to board my plane.  Two weeks later I got an e-mail thanking me for helping him get back in church and get “right with God.”

I didn’t do much more than listen to him and the other people I connected with that day, but somehow God showed up.  In just about every conversation, it felt like folks saw me as a representative of a God who wanted to do good things for them.  In fact, it was such an encouraging experience that I was reminded of this verse in the book of Hebrews, “Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!” (Hebrews 13:2).  Whether there were angels there or not, that day in the airport has forever changed how I view the “inconvenience” of travel delays and flight cancellations.

Many situations we perceive as inconveniences are actually spiritual opportunities in disguise.  In fact we’re pretty sure there are exciting divine appointments all around us most of the time.  They’re just waiting to happen when we’re willing to listen to God and pay attention to the people around us.  If you’re having a hard time imagining yourself praying for someone sitting next to you at the Cracker Barrel or handing out newspapers in the airport, don’t worry.  There are plenty of remarkably fun and effective ways to notice and let God’s love flow out from you to others—without making much noise at all.

Go and Listen

After surviving Hurricane Katrina and days of waiting for rescue on rooftops and highway overpasses, more than 30,000 refugees found temporary shelter in the Astrodome and the Reliant Arena in Houston, Texas.  A crowd of over 1,000 willing volunteers from all over Houston and around the nation gathered to do all they could to help.  Many were doctors, nurses, and experienced disaster relief workers, but many others were ordinary followers of Jesus willing to do anything to help the people of the temporary city.  Dave [Ping] and his wife, Pam, were part of this latter group.

As we looked out over the sea of stunned refugees in front of us, we were trying to imagine how in the world God could possibly use us to make a real difference.  When we were praying back home in Cincinnati, we’d been so sure the Holy Spirit wanted us to drop everything, get on a plane, and come to Houston to help—but how?  The only answer we got consisted of two words: go and listen.

When Pam and I first arrived, we let the people in charge know we were willing to do anything.  And they took us up on it.  My first job was helping nurses remove urine-soaked clothing from completely terrified male Alzheimer’s patients.  Though they didn’t understand where they were or what was going on, they all wanted to know someone was listening to them.  The more we listened and restated what they said—to show we were trying to understand—the calmer and more willing they were to let us help them.

Once everyone was happily clothed in fresh, clean garments, my wife and I asked our supervisor what other things we could do.  He thought for a minute and said, “Just go out among the cots and listen to people’s stories.  They’ve been through a lot, and they need to talk about it.”

With no more specific instructions than these, we waded out into the cots and began connecting with people.  Almost before we could ask where people were from, they were pouring out story after story of loss and tragedy.  They talked about how they’d survived and what they would do now—and invariably they asked what brought us all the way from Cincinnati to Houston.  We simply said that we thought God wanted us to come and listen to people.  When we said this, people almost always asked if we would pray for them, so we did.  Over and over again, we listened and they asked us to pray.  It was amazing; the idea that we would come just to listen opened spiritual doors like nothing I’ve ever seen.  These people were so hungry to be heard and so hungry to pray that after a few hours we were nearly worn out.

On the way out of the building we spotted a huge banner hanging in a prime location near the central lobby.  The banner read, “Prayer.”  Beneath the banner there was one older man sitting all by himself.  When we asked how “the prayer business” was going, he told us he was deeply disappointed because only a handful of the people in the arena wanted prayer.

“No way!” we said and explained how we’d spent hours swamped with people hungry to be listened to and prayed for.  We suggested that he get out of his booth and go out among the people to listen to them.  Over the next few days, every time we passed that big prayer banner, we rejoiced to see the chair under it sitting empty.  You see, instead of hanging around waiting for people to come to him seeking prayer, our friend had gone on a listening expedition.

If God has two words for anybody who wants to overflow with love, we think those words might be go and listen.  The best way to connect with not-yet Christians isn’t to stand at a safe distance under billboards announcing that God is real and that he loves them.  No!  We’ve got to go where they are and demonstrate that love in person.

Get Out There!

“Go where?” you ask.  The answer is places where people are—parks, shopping malls, ballgames, concerts, and fireworks displays.  Any place people hang out and have fun is usually a good place to go and show God’s love.  After all, if nothing else, going to fun places and having fun will help explode the idea that Christians don’t know how to have a good time.

And if you’re not sure where to begin, start by “listening with your eyes.”  Notice what people are doing and what they’re talking about.  Notice if people are happy or sad.  Notice when people look like they need a friend, and when people seem not to want to be bothered.  Then ask God to show you practical ways to reach out in ways that address those people’s needs—whether it’s through prayer, engaging in conversation, showing small acts of kindness, or simply sitting down and continuing to listen.

Getting Your Feet Wet

Initiate a conversation with someone you don’t know very well; your barber, a delivery person, neighbor, or restaurant server.  Listen closely to the person.  Find out about what’s going on in his or her life.  If the opportunity arises, ask if there is anything the person would like you to pray for.  Them go home and pray.  The next time you see the person, check in and see how he or she is doing and specifically ask about his or her prayer request.

The Reflection Pool

Where can you go and listen to people in your community?  Once you are there, how will you listen to the people around you?

• Does this approach to listening seem like something you can personally do for those in your community?  Why or why not?
• How does this type of listening change the way you view outreach into your community?