You Don't Trust Me

As a parent with teenagers, that line has become something I've heard more than once. And as our kids grow, we want to develop trust without it seeming to be a constant battle. Maybe this example of how to parent teenagers can help...

Does this scenario sound familiar? "The trouble with you is that you just don't trust me. If you did, you wouldn't be asking these stupid questions about where I'm going and stuff." Britney is railing against her mom's wanting some simple explanations about the party Britney and her friends are going to.
 
We've all heard this ultimate teen manipulation. Britney expects her mom to feel guilty and back off. She's hoping to hear a response like, "Of course I trust you. All I want to know is where you're going to be and … " If this happens, this typical teen can then take mom on a series of "bird walks" until she wears down and gives in while never actually getting the information she was looking for.
 
Let's give this mom a pat on the back and an extra high five for her response.
 
"Actually Britney," she says, "there are several issues here. I trust that you are very smart, I trust that you have the best of intentions, and I trust that your short 16 years of life has yet to give you the wisdom to handle all situations."
 
"Wisdom comes from intelligence combined with experience. So, yes, I trust that your wisdom will come after a lot more experience. Until you've lived long enough to have both wisdom and intelligence, I'll be asking questions so I can share my wisdom and experience."
 
"You may attend the party when you answer my questions and when I think you have seriously considered my advice. Thank you."
 
Mom didn't fall for the "You don't trust me" manipulation. You don't have to either.
 
There is a book called Love and Logic Magic When Kids Leave You Speechless that you could keep on your nightstand. When you find it hard to answer your youngster, say, "I'm not sure how to react to that; I'll get back to you." Then go to your book for the right words.

May Parenting be a Joy,

Steve

In my bible reading this morning I read Matthew 13.  There are five different parables that Jesus shares with the crowd and His disciples.  The one I want to point out is His first, the parable of the sower.  I can't tell you how many times I've actually read this passage - but it's been a lot.  And I've heard it spoken about even more!  Most of the time when I get to this parable I just skim over it because I know already what it says and what it means.  But this morning was different.

Before reading this moring I prayed that God would open my eyes to something new, that He would make me aware of how this applies to me today.  And He did!  The one thing that really stood out to me was Jesus' explination of the first seed - the seed that fell along the path.  Jesus says in Matthew 13:19, "When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart.  This is the seed sown along the path." 

As a minister, but more importantly, as a Christian, my responsibility is share God's Word with everyone.  We are called to plant seeds.  Our goal is to plant seeds in good soil so that they produce a crop a thirty, sixty or a hundred times what was sown.  Ok.  We get that part.  But do we understand our responsibility concerning the first seed?  Jesus says the people who hear the good news about Him and don't understand it are swiftly taken away by Satan and never given a chance to grow roots.  This should never happen!

If we love people enough to share the gospel with them, then we must also love them enough to stay with them until they understand what was read.  It really is a crime if I get up in front of my students, share a message with them and then move onto games or some other activity before what was said has sunk in.  If people leave our congregation and say, "The music was great!" or "I loved the fun and games!" or "The people were really nice!" but don't think twice about the message presented then we have failed. 

The other two seeds in the parable that didn't make it have only themselves to blame.  They crumbled under trying times and gave into wealth.  But the responsibility of the first seed is on our shoulders.  We have the responsibility to share Jesus with the lost AND help them understand it! 

This is something I never really grasped until this morning.  I hope that today, as you go about your routines and activites, as you shine your light in the darkness, that you will remember to be persistent with the gospel until whomever you are talking with understands what is said! 

Hey Gang.  It's been a while since I've blogged.  I'll blame it on "technical difficulties".  Anyway, I'm sitting in my office working on FAM & Reunion lessons while listening to my favorite Christian band - Relient K.  As you know, for FAM we are currently going through a series called "Essential Theology".  Personally, I'm really enjoying this series.  It's stretching me spiritually and hopefully you too.

The one thought I had for today is something we mentioned two weeks ago.  "God needs nothing, but He has everything to offer.  We bring nothing to the table, and are reliant on Him for everything."  

Think about that!  We are utterly hopeless and helpless on our own.  We are like newborn babies without parents.  We can't do a thing but cry and make messes everywhere.  No matter how highly we think of ourselves or how many "things" we acquire - we are nothing alone.  It's only when we partner with God that we become something.  When we sync our lives up with Him, through Jesus, then we become blessed children of the King! 

So, which are you?  Are you the helpless newborn baby or are you the blessed child of the King?  My prayer is that you are the latter.  I can honestly say that it is SWEET being a Christian.  It's not always roses, but God has provided and protected me thus far.  He truly is all we need.  Hope you find encouragment through this today.